Approaching the subject of moving to an assisted living facility with a family member can be a daunting task. Many individuals are staunchly independent and fear leaving a beloved home or neighborhood. There are several approaches you can take when talking with a parent about assisted living that can make the conversation go easier.
Start the Conversation Early
Approach the topic early. While it may seem silly to talk about when your parent is feeling healthy and capable of managing their daily lives, talking about assisted living long before it is necessary can make the transition go smoother when it becomes time. . brunei . It gives parents more agency when they have plenty of time to discuss their wishes and the pros and cons with their family members. It also makes everything easier if an emergency situation should arise that would require a quick move.
When You Can’t Start Early
If you haven’t been discussing long-term care options, but the situation demands that decisions be made soon, consider these methods of approaching the discussion.
Don’t Be Demanding
Don’t make demands such as “you need to move.” This makes the family member feel as though their independence is already being encroached upon. Feeling bossed around may make them shut down. Instead, A Place for Mom suggests that you make the conversation about your problems and feelings. Use statements such as “I’m worried about you” or “I’m afraid I can’t provide the care you need.” Parents are much more willing to bend to adult children’s feelings than adult children’s demands.
Ask your parent to indulge you by going to look at several assisted living facilities. Often just looking at facilities can help ease fears that might be lurking about what living in a care facility is like.
Get Everyone Involved
Be sure to get the whole family on board. You don’t all need to badger your parent, but you all need to be encouraging. Help everyone know how to have gentle conversations that will help steer parents toward decisions about moving to an assisted care facility.
Abandonment is also a fear when moving to an assisted living facility. In a helpful interview on Talk of the Nation, Amy Dickinson reminds listeners that it is important to remind your parent they are not in this alone and that you will not leave them once they have moved. Remind them that they can take important personal belongings with them and make their new home feel like a home.
You also don’t have to sugarcoat the situation. Dickinson suggests, from her personal experience, to acknowledge that having to move is hard and sad. Tell your family member you know they are sad and that its ok to be sad and that you feel sad too. Acknowledging feelings rather than covering them up can help your parent feel more human.
Be Mindful of Problems
Be aware that parents often hide problems from their children because they do not want to worry or scare them. If your parent is on their own and you live far away, talk to friends and neighbors to see if they have any concerns or have noticed any strange patterns of behavior.
Prepare for a Life Change
Moving to an assisted living facility is a big life change. Your parent is more likely to thrive when they make the decision to move themselves. check links Start having conversations about this transition long before it is absolutely necessary so that everyone can make informed, confident decisions.
Always approach the subject gently, acknowledging that the decision is difficult and full of emotion. Don’t be afraid to talk about feelings, both yours and your parents’. You can never force the decision, so don’t try to. Instead help gently guide your parent to a helpful decision so they can be confident about their move.